X-RATED RIDDLES
Q What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!
26 May 2007
Finally, its the holidays. 1 month of studying, or fun? Failed my mid-year exams, totally screwed everything up. My mom found out about the results just this morning and soon she unleashed her "Scream of Pain", i thought only the QOP in Dota had this ability.
___________________________________________________________________
SCREAM OF PAIN
The Queen of Pain lets loose a piercing scream, damaging nearby enemies.
Level 1 - 85 damage per target.
Level 2 - 165 damage per target.
Level 3 - 225 damage per target.
Level 4 - 300 damage per target.
Cooldown: 10 seconds.
Level 1: 85 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
Level 2: 105 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
Level 3: 120 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
Level 4: 140 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
___________________________________________________________________
Totally spoiled my morning, i guess this june holiday is the time for me to catch up. No more fooling around. I must start studying at least 2 hours a day.( I have been saying this and not doing it, its time to put my words into actions. ) I can't fail anymore, i need to pass, pass, pass before my mom unleashes another ability, "Sonic Wave"
___________________________________________________________________
SONIC WAVE
Creates a gigantic wave of sound which deals heavy damage to all units in a line.
Level 1 - 290 damage.
Level 2 - 430 damage.
Level 3 - 600 damage.
Cooldown: 120/100/75 seconds.
Level 1: 250 mana, 120 sec cooldown.
Level 2: 360 mana, 100 sec cooldown.
Level 3: 500 mana, 75 sec cooldown.
___________________________________________________________________
I guess after she unleashes the 2 ability, i would be dead. I just can't seem to study. Its like i always get distracted by something like the computer and i can never study straight for 2 hours. At this rate i'm going to fail my N's. Well starting next monday, i shall start studying for at least 2 hours.
___________________________________________________________________
SCREAM OF PAIN
The Queen of Pain lets loose a piercing scream, damaging nearby enemies.
Level 1 - 85 damage per target.
Level 2 - 165 damage per target.
Level 3 - 225 damage per target.
Level 4 - 300 damage per target.
Cooldown: 10 seconds.
Level 1: 85 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
Level 2: 105 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
Level 3: 120 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
Level 4: 140 mana, 10 sec cooldown.
___________________________________________________________________
Totally spoiled my morning, i guess this june holiday is the time for me to catch up. No more fooling around. I must start studying at least 2 hours a day.( I have been saying this and not doing it, its time to put my words into actions. ) I can't fail anymore, i need to pass, pass, pass before my mom unleashes another ability, "Sonic Wave"
___________________________________________________________________
SONIC WAVE
Creates a gigantic wave of sound which deals heavy damage to all units in a line.
Level 1 - 290 damage.
Level 2 - 430 damage.
Level 3 - 600 damage.
Cooldown: 120/100/75 seconds.
Level 1: 250 mana, 120 sec cooldown.
Level 2: 360 mana, 100 sec cooldown.
Level 3: 500 mana, 75 sec cooldown.
___________________________________________________________________
I guess after she unleashes the 2 ability, i would be dead. I just can't seem to study. Its like i always get distracted by something like the computer and i can never study straight for 2 hours. At this rate i'm going to fail my N's. Well starting next monday, i shall start studying for at least 2 hours.
04 May 2007
Today, Friday 04 May. 8.30am, Maths paper in the morning, 1h 30mins. Did not have enough time to complete the whole paper although i knew how to do. 10.30am, Social Studies paper, 1h 30mins. Could not answer much of section B.
Can my day get any worst?
Had to quarrel with people. It did not just stop here.
Went to meet Enshao at Bukit Timah around 4pm. Upon reaching the trail, both of us found out that we needed to oil our chains as it was dry and making alot of noise. Nevermind that, went to Rodalink and changed. Soon after that, went into the trail to only find out it was super muddy. As we past the railway track area, was climbing up a pile a rocks and when i climbed over it, i found out that my chain had dented. Took me almost 15mins to fix the chain. Seriously, can my day get any worst?
Continued the trail, everything went smooth for awhile until i was climbing again. As i was reaching the top, the chain just broke. Had to push all the way out back to Rodalink. Enshao was laughing. I was swearing every moment. Went to the Rodalink and fixed the chain which cost me $35. Soon after that we turned into Toh Tuck and was climbing up again, GUESS WHAT!!?!?!?! Ehshaos chain broke. Retribution for laughing at me earlier on. Went back again to fix the chain onto his bike and ended my ride.
Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day. Got to study, study, study.
Can my day get any worst?
Had to quarrel with people. It did not just stop here.
Went to meet Enshao at Bukit Timah around 4pm. Upon reaching the trail, both of us found out that we needed to oil our chains as it was dry and making alot of noise. Nevermind that, went to Rodalink and changed. Soon after that, went into the trail to only find out it was super muddy. As we past the railway track area, was climbing up a pile a rocks and when i climbed over it, i found out that my chain had dented. Took me almost 15mins to fix the chain. Seriously, can my day get any worst?
Continued the trail, everything went smooth for awhile until i was climbing again. As i was reaching the top, the chain just broke. Had to push all the way out back to Rodalink. Enshao was laughing. I was swearing every moment. Went to the Rodalink and fixed the chain which cost me $35. Soon after that we turned into Toh Tuck and was climbing up again, GUESS WHAT!!?!?!?! Ehshaos chain broke. Retribution for laughing at me earlier on. Went back again to fix the chain onto his bike and ended my ride.
Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day. Got to study, study, study.
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